Trust the process

As a planner I often find the need to feel I have everything under control. I like being organised.

My need for control is a cover up, it’s not control I am after, its clarity. When my mind becomes chaotic and frantic I know I need to step away and get some clarity. When my mind is that chaotic I need to create a space of calm. Sometimes that might be a walk with the dog, taking 10 mins to meditate, or getting creative.

Being creative is not my default so to make space for it I started to plan it in to my week. The contradiction of planning in time to be creative is not lost on me. But for me to start something new I plan it in otherwise it becomes a dream that never becomes a reality.

Allowing the creative process has not been easy, its messy, and that is exactly how it should be.

Back in September I joined a GYM, it’s a cross fit Gym in Cheddar. I joined this Gym because I wanted to give myself the best chance of not getting osteoporosis in my latter years. A sad reality of an early medical menopause can result in thinning of the bones in later years. Working out with weights is one way to keep my bones healthy. #crossfitcheddarrising

I love it, it’s a mix of weight lifting, cardio and gymnastics…….boom, I didn’t even know it had the Gymnastics element, that was a nice surprise. I have 3 main coaches who are all different and equally great at what they do. They have a great mix of characters, styles and personalities that create a great environment. Banter, support, laughter, encouragement and technical coaching, I feel at home here. A great place that ticks all of the boxes.

One of the coaches, Lewis, mentioned that he and his partner have a coffee shop in Wells and if I am in the area I should pop in. So when I found myself in Wells and wanting a break from Christmas shopping I headed to the coffee shop, #strangerswithcoffee, for a rest and a recharge.

I was welcomed with a smile and a warm greeting from Lewis, then he realised who I was and the banter began. I immediately feel at home. I also get to meet his partner and daughter to.

I had THE BEST, albeit pretentious on my part, decaffeinated CAPPUCINO with oat milk.

I treated myself to a chocolate brownie to, it was the most chocolatey, intense brownie I have ever tasted. It took me half an hour to get through it, I wasn’t leaving any, it was too good and I am no quitter.

I entertained myself with the book that was on the counter top. “ I tried to run really far” by Lewis Matthews. Lewis, the coffee shop co-owner, personal trainer, cross fit coach is also an adventurer. I read the first chapter of his tales of an epic and slightly crazy 58 day trail run through New Zealand and wanted to read more so when I got home I ordered it from amazon.

My plan was to read it over Christmas, having spent most of Christmas in bed with the flu I couldn’t muster the energy to read but when I felt better I was straight on it.

I read the book in 3 sittings, I was hooked. Now, I am not a runner, in fact its my least favourite thing to do in the gym but it was the journey that had me hooked. Lewis is a great storyteller from sharing his most inner thoughts and feelings to descriptions of the surrounding countryside and ever changing weather I was on the journey with him and his team. Albeit from the comfort of my sofa, in my PJ'S, supping lempsip while coughing and spluttering.

I know I said this is a story of trusting the process but hang on in there its coming……….

After reading this I was inspired and felt super creative, I imagine it was the book coupled with the fact that I had barely moved for a week that I felt that I wanted to get creative.

I bought some paint and some canvases and started to play with some colours and techniques.

Lewis mentioned how the sky’s changed so fast with the change of altitude and his emotions mirroring the same rapid changes. It got me thinking back to my own challenges and how I could feel a heap of conflicting emotions in a short space of time and how overwhelming they can be.

I set about mixing the paint and I still had no idea what I was doing only why I was doing it.

I vowed to trust the process, this was not a job for the head, this is heart centred work.

Don’t overthink it, don’t let the thoughts creep in, keep a clear head and listen to your heart.

With music switched on and the mind well and truly switched off, I was in the creative zone.

I would love to tell you how it all came about but truth is I don’t really know other than it just happened.

And so this piece of art was created. For me it shows how fast you can feel sunshine and warmth and then find yourself in a cold and dark place and how there is beauty in both.

Its not about always being in the warm sunshine but about how you navigate the dark and cold times. Because these times will happen and its these times that allow me my biggest learnings.

Thanks to Lewis and his team for the inspiration and also for the great recovery read over Christmas.

My plan is to create good health, the piece of art was an output of the spontaneous activity that ignited creativity.

Always keep yourself open to new opportunities and when you find that piece of calm inside, step aside and trust the process.